Is Sex Too Important to Men?

"He puts too much attention on sex." "Sex means more to him than it should in our relationship." "He puts too much emphasis on how much sex we have."

These are just some of the "battle cries" of women who don’t appreciate what sex means to their partner.

Here’s a simple truth:

Anything means exactly as much to an individual as it means to him or her in that moment.

Let’s state that in another way:

Whatever is important to you in some way or another is what’s meaningful to you right now.

So for every man, sex is as important to him as it is important to him right now. He can’t "put too much attention (or too much emphasis) on sex."

He’s putting as much attention or emphasis on it as he feels it needs, for him, now. For him, sex can’t "mean more to him than it should." It means exactly as much to him as it means to him - no more, and no less.

What this means is that if you are saying these things about your partner, what you are saying is that he puts too much attention on sex for you.

That is, he puts more attention on sex than you would like him to, or than the amount of attention you want him to put on it. If you say sex means more to him that in should, you’re saying that sex means more to him than it does to you.

It’s not the "sex" that’s important in this equation. It’s your judgment of your partner’s sexual desires that really has the greatest impact.

So the most important thing to do right now is to simply ask yourself: "What does my partner want, when it comes to sex?" And as long as it doesn’t result in physical pain to you, or a compromise of such deeply held values that you would suffer psychological damages, consider giving him what he wants.

Just like if you asked him to give you a two-pound box of See’s chocolates.

He might think it’s frivolous and a waste of money and something you "shouldn’t be eating anyway," but you would still want him to give you that box of candy. And no, not just any box of candy will do. It’s got to be a two-pound box of See’s chocolates, or you’ll think even less of him for giving you the wrong thing than if he didn’t give you any chocolate at all.

If a man wants sex, and his partner doesn’t give it to him, there are consequences - sometimes dire consequences - to the relationship. Emotional distancing, anger, frustration, death of communication, etc. - most often by BOTH parties, not just one or the other.

You’ve GOT to maintain a strong sexual connection even in the midst of (and even in spite of) any emotional or other reasons for wanting to withhold sex from your partner.

Regardless of how you judge him for what he expresses that he wants, you’ve got to recognize that your judgments are what will result in the greatest cost - far greater than the cost of enjoying sex with your partner more than you would want if left to your own devices.

After all, relationship is a partnership that needs to "feed" both partners, or the relationship - and the people in it - will starve for what they want.

And remember, sex is not only a highly pleasurable physical act. It’s a way to experience and express love and appreciation for yourself and for your partner. When both of you turn sex into lovemaking, you’ll be reminded of how important sex is as a way to connect with one another and deepen your relationship.

Then, there can never be "too much sex" or "too much emphasis on sex." You’ll always have just the right amount to satisfy both of you emotionally and physically.

Women, honor yourself. But in so doing, remember to honor your partner.

The "price" of judging and withholding sex? The possible death of your relationship.

The price of letting go of your judgments and honoring his wishes to express his love for you through sex? Greater intimacy and more physical pleasure.

The choice is yours.

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Visit www.MakingLoveSimplyDivine.com to learn even more about how to have a highly successful, deeply satisfying relationship, in and out of the bedroom.