Relationship Medicine: Sometimes Silence Can Communicate What Words Cannot

Good communication is undoubtedly key to the success of any relationship.

You need to communicate well in order to get your needs met, and to express your intentions and your love with clarity and effectiveness.

Using words well can be a powerful tool in relationship. People who communicate well have better relationships than those who don't.

And yet, sometimes, talking can be exactly the opposite of what's needed in your relationship. Being a good communicator also means knowing when to say nothing at all.

The fact is that words don't always come out as you intend. Sometimes, there just doesn't seem to be the proper words to convey your thoughts or feelings most effectively, given the limitations of our language. There are bound to be errors in getting your messages across in the way you desire.

And even when you do say something in a way that you are certain is clear, your partner receives it through her/his own filters - colored by the circumstances, the emotional context and a host of other factors.

Silence is an exceptionally important communication tool - especially when you don't have the right words, when words aren't working, or when you want to make a connection that is, simply, beyond words.

Silence can actually be one of the most powerful means for rediscovering your love (for your partner and for yourself) because it allows you to feel yourself and each other at your essence - without all of your filters. It's a beautiful way to express your deepest feelings without saying a word.

Here's a simple exercise that you can do every day:

Some couples find that the best time engage in this practice is in the morning before getting out of bed, as an inspiring way to begin the day, or at night before climbing into bed. It's a great way to initiate your lovemaking, or just to take time to make loving connection.

Begin by sitting or lying comfortably across from one another - in a couple of chairs with your feet gently on the floor, cross-legged on some pillows on the floor or in bed, or lying down face-to-face, with about 18 inches or two feet between you.

Close your eyes, and become silent.

Focus on your breathing as you allow your body to relax.

When you are ready, open your eyes softly. Keep your gaze from becoming focused and intense. Just allow yourself to look out through relaxed eyes.

Maintain your silence. Gaze gently into your partner's eyes, reminding yourself that "the eyes are the windows into the soul."

Look out of your eyes through your heart. Meet your beloved heart-to-heart without speaking, through your eyes.

Continue to stay conscious of your breathing. Relax into the connection you create with your partner through your softly focused eyes.

Do this exercise for four to five minutes. It will guide you about what to do next, whether that's to have a hug before moving gently on to what's next in your day, or as a way to begin your lovemaking.

Remember, silence is a powerful antidote for not knowing what to say, and a wise choice even when you do.

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Visit www.MakingLoveSimplyDivine.com to learn even more about how to have a highly successful, deeply satisfying relationship, in and out of the bedroom.