Take the Risk of Sharing Who You Truly Are in Your Relationship

I often work with people, privately, in a coaching setting, who believe that nobody loves them for who they really are - the topic of our July 1, 2008 teleconference with Judith Sherven, Ph.D. and Jim Sniechowski, Ph.D.

I recognize that this belief can be very painful and I empathize with those of you for whom this feels true.

I'm also aware of how this belief can be self-perpetuating, or a double bind.

Sometimes you might withhold your true self because you have the belief that "People won't love who I really am." So you put on a face and project a persona you believe others will like and accept. Essentially, you end up betraying yourself to ensure gaining others' approval and acceptance.

Then when the people you've catered to DO approve and accept the false you, you get upset and feel unseen. You don't like that what they're approving of is not the real you. It reinforces your limiting belief and reinforces the idea that nobody sees the real you.

Of course people love what you put forward as the genuine you (even when you know that it's a facade), because they think it's the genuine you! People basically get to love (or not love) what you give them to love or not love. Are they wrong for loving what you asked them to love?

At some point you have to take responsibility for this choice you make to hide some or all of your true self from others, and also take a risk and show the real you.

Yes, maybe some people won't love you for who you really are, but if you don't come out of hiding, you can be assured that nobody will.

If you want to be loved for who you really are, you have to be willing to BE who you really are and share that with others. You must take responsibility for conveying to others who your real self is.

Is this scary and risky?

Sure. But it beats hiding your light!

Check out our most recent "Making Love Simply Divine" teleconference (held on July 1, 2008) on this topic: "Be Loved for Who You Really Are," featuring authors and relationship experts Judith Sherven and Jim Sniechowski. Gain the insight, the courage, and the skills for letting your inner light shine!

www.MakingLoveSimplyDivine.com/teleseminars

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Learn more about and register to attend or listen to the recordings of the free Making Love Simply Divine "First Tuesday of the Month Great Relationships Teleseminar Series" by visiting www.MakingLoveSimplyDivine.com/teleseminars